Thursday, March 19, 2009

In Memory of Mom 8-11-23 to 3-19-08

I write this blog today in memory of my mom who passed away one year ago today. I miss you mom! The last few months of mom's life was spent in a nursing facility. Her mind was clear, but her body was giving up. It was hard to see her wane away. A lady, who was always dressed in suits and heels, always had her hair done, and her nails!! She sat before me with feeble finger and hands and it so sadden me. She was angry too; she hated seeing her body fail. Her memories were still thinking of times when she was a young girl, or dancing at the USO dances, or talking about marry dad and moving to Brooklyn; not the proper place for a New England lady!! Some of the folks that worked at the facility were not always nice to her, so I had a few “run-ins” with the staff. I wanted mom to be respected, she wasn’t some stupid old lady, who dribbled her soup on her bib, and she was Margaret Mary Woods, see her for who she is!! Her mind still works and she still has feelings!!!

A short time before mom died I came across this poem and I was in the process of putting it onto a poster-board for her room with pictures, however mom could not wait and decided to pass on to another plane. So mom where ever you are I am doing this for you!!! I miss you; give Jodi a hug and a kiss for me!!!

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice,
"I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is missing a stocking or shoe.....
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is that what you're thinking?
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse;
you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.





I'm a small child of ten ... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.


A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.


A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.


At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.


At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.


At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;





I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman ... and nature is cruel;

mom's 85th ...



'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years .... all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman; look closer ... see ME!!

In memory of you mom ....


a picture of you bringing me home from the hospital ...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really nice job, Mar. And i do love that peom also.

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful. What a wonderful lady, who raised a wonderful lady.

-Tracy

Regina said...

That was really a nice post on Margo. I especially like the photo of her as a young woman with her arms crossed, I don't think I've seen it before; beautiful. I miss her a lot and find myself often thinking of her. I was only just speaking of her and Pop yesterday. I'm not nearly 85, but halfway there and feeling your body change makes you think ahead and how much it will really suck, particularly if your mind is still sharp. I understand her anger as it was born from frustration of this very thing.

But I like to remember her as a vibrant woman. The summers spent with them on the boat and digging for muscles on Tow Bay beach. And Christmas at their house always seemed special to me as a kid. Visiting in Florida after they moved; more summers. Lots of great memories. Thanks Mom.

tweetey30 said...

Wow my friend. I have goosebumps by reading this because its so close to home with nursing homes now adays. They dont treat the people with respect. They just treat them like they are a number in a bed waiting to pass on. Thanks for sharing this with us Maeves. Well I am off to bed finally. Talk to you soon.

tshsmom said...

What a beautiful tribute to your Mom!

Monogram Queen said...

Wonderful wonderful tribute to your dear Mother. I know exactly what you mean. Some of the people who work in those facilities have no business there!

VV said...

Hi Marilyn, I'm only just now making it here. Life's really busy right now. I think this is a wonderful poem and it should be copied and put in hospitals and nursing homes all over the country. Too many people, caregivers, see the end of the person and don't really see the complete person, the lives they've lived, the love they given and earned, the great things they've accomplished, the dignity they've so justly earned and deserve. Great job. I know your mom is watching and loves what you've written.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

This is a lovely tribute, my dear....But I must tell you, for me...Closer to where she was---it is quite depressing....The body betraying you, so to speak, is just a terrible terrible thing, especially when you are still---As you said---Young At Heart: Still a girl, inside. Sweet tribute to your dear mother, but nothing very hopeful for those of us on the 'far side'...
The "Golden Years"? They SUCK, Big Time!